Absence

Maybe I should first explain my absence from posting before I get deep into this one. The truth is, I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. Here in northern Uganda, things are rough for people: the famine is intensifying due to the ongoing drought; wages are minuscule for locals if they can even find a job (most working people make about $1 a day); malaria is rampant and people can’t afford the meds to fight it, killing many children everyday; and everyone looks at the foreign community as someone who can save them from this, someone who can lift them out of poverty. Everyday I want to empty my wallet because I don’t feel I did enough, I couldn’t help everyone with my hands or skills. But on top of that, I am being asked by large NGOs and the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) to shift operations to Southern Sudan and the DR Congo (DRC) because the need is greater there. I can barely keep up here and I know there is more need there…

…breath…..

That is what goes through my head every few days. One day I am seeing progress and hope and feeling fantastic. A few days later I am feeling overwhelmed and wonder if I am being effective (or how to be more effective). Repeat.

It’s the cycle of aid work, really. For some it sends them packing for home, for others it makes us work harder. Our big challenge is to avoid burnout. For me, I turn off my computer, grab a football (soccer ball) and go out and play with community members. Other days I just go for a long walk deep into the villages and chat with folks in broken Lugbara and English.

What gives me strength is that I get to hear the incredible stories of resilience, strength and survival. I hear about families. I am told how happy people are that Peace For All International (PFAI) is here since most NGOs have left for Sudan and the DRC; how they feel valued and not forgotten. I get to play with timid children who run up, yell, “I’m fine how are you?” and then hide, or others who dare come and touch the hand of the white person (many children fear white skin because they were told that albinos would eat them, and to them we all look like albinos). It’s in those moments I remember why I am here.

It’s true, things aren’t as bad here and the need is greater elsewhere, but the need is here too and I am proud of PFAI for keeping things going here. That’s not to say we aren’t planning a way to start operations in Sudan and the DRC, but we won’t just close shop here. We can’t leave these people behind when some are just getting their feet on the ground and are perilously close to falling back into dire situations (see, even my degree of need has changed – Uganda is poor, but not dire. South Sudan and the DRC are dire).

One thing that is limiting us is funding. We are desperately trying to find funds to keep projects going and begin to shift to other areas of need. Most major funders won’t fund Uganda anymore because it is “doing better than other places.” True, but like I said, it is perilously close to falling back into the old pattern of conflict and extreme suffering.

On that note, if you know of anyone who might be able to spare a few bucks, or a great aunt who has some extra money, or you work for a company that is looking to donate to a charity somewhere, please let me know (and visit our online donation page at www.canadahelps.org ). PFAI is registered in Canada and can give tax receipts. Our website is www.peaceforallinternational.org, but it is still a work in progress. We have spent nothing on admin (not a good long-term strategy, I know) so our visuals are poor, but our work is tremendous.

I also wanted to say thanks to you all for keeping up with these stories and following my sporadic musings. I will do my best to be more regular (and more interesting) in my posting. This week I am off to the villages in Pader District where there is no power or running water, so I won’t be able to post, but I will take notes and write when I get back. I am working with youth on a development plan for-youth-by-youth. The areas I am working in are places where youth were regularly recruited as child soldiers, but now are trying to find their place in the community. They are also trying to deal with the violent incursions of the tribal group neighbouring their territory. Since many only knew violence, their reaction is to retaliate or join the government military to fight the tribal forces. It’s an interesting group of people.

Best to you all, and stay safe.